The untilted story
by goone
Summary: Just a funny Naruto and FMA crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**ok so heres a story me and my friend wrote.Now don't you hate it when people read and don't review.Well I hate it so much that if u read and don't review I will find you and slit your throt just joking but im beging you to review.**

**Disclaimer-I dont ownFMA and Naruto**

By: goone and Tinkrbelle

"Jumping jilikers!" screamed Sam.

"What the hell sam?" Keira questioned.

"Just wanted to brake the silence," sam said sadly

"You're a dork," said Keira

"No one likes me!" yelled Sam, as she ran out of the room crying.

"What's her problem?" Sasuke asked, as entered the living room.

"I dunno, she said something about no one liking her, then just ran off," Keira told him, as he took a seat next to her.

Sasuke turned and smirked at Keira as she kissed him. Just then Sakura walked into the room, and seeing Sasuke and Keira kissing, got angry and walked out of the room.

Ed walked in, "Where the hell is Sam?"

"I dunno, she might be in her room," Keira said, pulling away from Sasuke.

"You guys are kinky," Ed replied.

"At least I have a love life shorty pants," Sasuke replied placing his hands behind his head.

Ed turned red, and balled a fist, threatening Sasuke with it, "SHUT UP, and I DO have a love life, you stupid ninja!"

"EXCUSE ME!"

"You heard me!"

"Oh, IT's ON!"

Keira had to hold Sasuke back from throwing his fists at Ed. Then Sam decided to make yet another appearance.

"Sam, your boyfriend is here, and him and Sasuke are already trying to go at it," Keira whined.

"ED!" Sam said as she ran to her boyfriend and pecked him on the lips.

Keira walked in the kitchen to get some popsicles, "Hey SPECIAL ED, you want a popsicle?" she asked.

"Yeah...wait...STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Ed yelled, getting angry again.

"But that's my nickname for you, you meanie," Keira said licking her banana flavor popsicle, while _trying_ to fold her arms in front of her at the same time, she failed. Her popsicle now lay helplessly on the carpet, their dog, licking away at it.

"MY POPSICLE!" Keira whined slash shouted, as she stared sadly down at the banana flavored popsicle.

"Hey I just had an awesome idea," Sam replied, as she dashed from the room, and outside to their drive way.

"FINE, JUST IGNORE MY MID-LIFE CRISIS THEN, YOU HOE!" Keira shouted to Sam's retreating form.

Sam ignored Keira, while Ed and Sasuke gave her wierd looks, before Keira followed after Sam.

1234567890!#$&()

Keira, Ed, and Sasuke walked out to see that Sam had stole the neighbors trash cans, "Sam what are you doing?" asked Ed as he scratched his head.

"Don't worry I saw it on T.V.," said Sam in a high voice as she continued to set up the cans.

"Um...Sam I don't think this is a good idea!" whined Keira.

Sam had set the cans up in a line of two.she backed up, "Uhh...Sam!" whined Keira again, but it was to late Sam had already started to jump. They heard a big crash with Sam's ear splitting screams of, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...that was fun...now can we go to the ER!"

"I told you! What kind of ninja are you anyway? We won't take you to the ER because you wouldn't learn anything that way!" Keira informed her.

1234567890!#$&()

Keira tapped her foot in annoyance as she tried to find a way to entertain herself while she sat with her boring boyfriend in the ER. "Stupid Sam, and her ideas," Keira complained as she watched Sasuke with interest.

On the other side of the room Ed paced the halls, as he watched Sasuke and Keira sneak off into a janitor's closet. "I've said it once, I'll say it again...Kinky idiots!" Ed said with a snort.

Just then Sam walked out with a kick-ass caste on her arm. "Hey look guys, I've got a cool blue caste," Sam esclaimed, as she looked at Ed, and realized something or rather someone was missing. "Where is Keira and Sasuke?" Sam asked, a curious look on her face.

"Closet," was all Ed said as he pointed down the hall.

With an evil look on her face, yes evil not seductive, Sam walked down the hall and started punding on the closet door. "KEIRA, SASUKE, GET YOUR KINKY, NAKED ASSES OUT OF THAT JANITOR'S CLOSET, YOU CAN HAVE SEX AT HOME, THIS IS A STERILE HOSPITAL NOT A SPERM BANK!" Sam shouted at the top of her lungs.

Everyone stared in the direction of the closet, as Sam continued to pound on the door. Ed rolled around on the floor in laughter, and the janitor looked horror-stricken as he stopped mopping the sqeaky clean floor, literly, it sqeakes.

The closet door flew open and Keira looked completely embarassed, but as soon as she saw Sam's face, her own face went beet red, as she began to chase Sam around the hospital.

"RAPE! PATIENT ABUSE! IS ANYONE GOING TO FUCKING HELP ME HERE, AHHHHHH!" Sam yelled as she continued to run from Keira. It wasn't a pretty seen.

"SO...was it fun?" Ed asked with his eyerows rased. Sam ran around the corner, "Ed!"

Sasuke shrugged and said, "A little crowed, but yeah, it was fun."

"Really? You sound bored out of your nuts...uh...I mean...mind," Ed stated cautiously baking away from Sasuke.

Sasuke glared evily at Ed, while Sam rounded the corner again, Keira soon following as she tried to keep up the run, but she was too exhausted.

"I'll...get...you...bitch...you...better...watch...your...back..." Keira said before falling to the floor in exhaustion and falling fast asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome back to Sam and Kayalas _storys that torture_ i mean just welcome back ok heres the next chap for the people that have been waiting(thats no one) bear with the story if you don't think its funny at the beggining it will get bust a gut._Oh Kayla_ you get the next chap..R&R.**

"I think I'm ovulating," yelled Sam.

"What the hell Sam," said Keira as she gave Sam a wierd look.

"Just wanted to brake the silence,"Sam looked at Ed and gave him a kiss. The two started to make out passiontly.

"Oh get a room you two," said Keira as she looked franticly for her love buddy. 'He better not be eating my popsicles!' thought Keira, she ran into the kitchen.

"Now we're alone," said Ed rubbing his hands together.

MEANWHILE IN tHE KITCHEN

"Where is that dick...ewwww that sounds kinky," Keira looked though the house.Then she looked down the stairs to see if Sasuke was in the shower, but she didn,t hear running water. She turned around, but slipped on one of her popsicle sticks, "DAAAMN ICCCECCCREAM," yelled Keira as she fell down the stairs. She thought she was a gonner when she felt someone catch her around the waist. She looked up to see Sasuke dripping wet in nothing, but a towel. "Oh there you are," said Keira as she smiled and blushed heavily.

Sam and Ed ran to see what the screaming was all about. "Are you all right," said Sam before she relized Sasuke was only in a towel, Sam smiled. Ed gave her a dirty look.

"Nice isn't he," said Keira, Ed stormed out of the room.

"Ed, it was a joke," Sam chased after him, "Ed, please," Ed turned around and was kissed by Sam, but pushed her off of him and ran out the front door.

Sam walked in the door and to her room., "What do you think we should do?" asked Keira

"I'll go talk to him and you confort her ok," Sasuke gave keira a kiss and walked out the door he was dressed by then.

Keira knocked on the door, "Sam are you ok?"Keira opend the door. Sam was sitting on her head.

"What are you doing?" asked Keira trying not to laugh

"I'm trying to make my brain exploid,"(sp)

"You have a brain and anyway you need a bomb to do that," Sam fliped upright, "Oh thanks.What do you want?" barked Sam

"Are you ok?"

"I just fell bad I don't want to lose him who will by you icecream me and Sasuke don't have the money," Keira gave her a wierd look, "Ok I miss him"

"Well Sasuke went to look for him hope they don't fight,"

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"ED WHERE ARE YOU BASTERD?" screamed Sasuke as he roamed the streets, "What do you want?" barked Ed

"I was looking for your bitchy ass, look Sam was just messing around," Sasuke had his hands on his hips.

"Hey answer me this Sasuke.Do you think the girls will like the cat?" Ed pulled up a kaweii black cat.Sasuke laughed

"Comon we have school tomorrow and Sam misses you," Ed looked at him. "Lets go"

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Ed ran in the door and ponced on Sam who land on the popsicles...somehow. "My popsocles, you guys will pay!" screamed Keira. Sam and Ed cringed

"For my popsicles idoits"

Sam whisperd to Ed"someone belongs in the mental hospital"

"I heard that bitch prepare to die," once again Sam was runnig from Keira

"I have a cast and i know how to yous it...it think...AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"By girls," yelled Sasuke and Ed at the same time. "BY," Sam and Keira yelled this then continued to chase each other, "Hey where the cat come from?" Sam looked at Keira.

THE NEXT MORNING

Eep eep eep.Sam hit her snozze button the 5th time, but 5 min later it went off. "Sam wake up you'll be late for school," said Kira brushing her teeth.Sam picked up her alarm and threw it at her.

"Damn Sam thats the 5th you broke," screamed Keira

"Yet you keep buying me more," said Sam irratated as she got up and put on her black shirt with the red cross and black pants.

Sam and Keira meet Ed and Sasuke at the front of the school, "Hey Sam said Sasuke,"

"Shut up girly boy!" said Sam coldly

"Whats her prob?" said Ed to Keira in her ear. "Shes not a morning person, you no that Ed she hit you every time you try to kiss her in the morning.

"I know I was hoping there was a different reason,"Ed looked down in disappointment.(a/n gloom)

Sam and Keira had 6th hour gym together. They where doing 10 laps aroun the gym"Damn 10 laps around the gym,so its friday what are you doing tonight? asked Sam.

"I don't know I think me and Sasuke are going to go out tonight to the movies. What about you" Keira was still looking in front of her.

"I think me and Naoko are going to double date tonight"Keira gave Sam a dirty look, "You didn't ask me to go?" the bell rang and Sam and Keira walked to their next class, they took thier seats next to Sasuke

"What are you doing in this class you have govt or did you forget again.Sasuke gave them a dirty look, "No I got moved because I told the teacher that all the govt do is take our money and some other bad things about the govt, she got tierd of it and put me in this class instead,...yes"

"Get this, Sam is going on a double date without us"Keira crossed her arms..Sasuke stared to laugh, "Don't worry we'll buy you some popsicles and you'll be fine.

"I am not absesed with popsicles!" Sasuke pulled out a popsicle from lunch, "OOO mine," Keira grabed it and huged it and then she looked up, "What?' The bell rang.Ed met up with them outside of school and the walked half way home and went thier diffrent ways.Sam put the key in the hole and walked in.

"So what time do you have to go on your double date."Keira had sarcasim in her voice

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No," Keira had her nose in the air, "Anyway i have to go at 5:30, we are all meeting at 6. You?"Sam was alreadying getting ready 2 and a half hours early. "Our movie startes at 7."

2 and a holf hours later

Thier was a knock on the door Keira answerd it, "Sam, Ed's here!" Sam walked out in a long red dress, "Ready?" Ed linked arms with Sam, "Aw young love...hope he has money."

"So who is Naokos boy friend anyway?" Ed and Sam met Naoko and Roy at the resterunt, "Saaaam!" whined Ed.

"O you'll live," said Sam

"Well see,"murmerd Ed."Hi Naoko" said Ed nicely They walked in the door to a long line

"Luckly we made reservations.Told you it was a good idea," said Naoko with a proud face. "Excuse me sir we have reservations," The guy looked on the list. "Sorry I don't see you."

"What!" yelled Naoko, "sir will you look again?" Mustage was calmer then Naoko who was about to exploide. "sorry we can't find your name." Naoko grabed a potatoe next to her and threw it at the waiter, "LOOK AGAIN!"The waiter wiped his face, "OUT"

"What was that for?" said roy

"A little impoulsive don't you think?"Sam was laughing

"What the hell i'm hungry.Now what do we do?"Ed was yelling. "Oh don't make me throw a potatoe at you,I'll do it."

"We can always catch a movie with Sasuke and Keira," suggested Sam

So everyone went to see the movie but none could tell you what it's about because there was alot of romance in the air

**Ha I got you it wasn't as funny as I said had to get you to read somehow.The next chap will be funnyer promise...Another thing i'm beging plez review.**

**Jane**


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